Glimpsing The Unicorn

This post started out, a couple of days ago when I originally wrote it, as an examination of my winter blahs. Most (pretty much all) of my night had been spent meditating for my friend Melissa and sending all my energy her way as she had lost her mother that day. I decided I needed to take a little time for myself to recharge and fill back up my energy, I was feeling pretty drained at that point, so I delved into a little introspection. It may sound strange, but I get a great deal of said energy from poking around inside the unexplored corners of my mind.

It turned into a hugely profound moment for me, where I finally, for the first time I think, “glimpsed the unicorn” that she had spoken of. (Read my earlier post if you want all the specifics about that.) I sense a real turning point in my life here, and while I realize it was mostly of my own doing, a change I brought about myself by drawing from inside myself, she certainly has played no small part in it as well. She’s been a great inspiration to me, and helped keep me walking down this path, one I started on my own well before we had ever met but have stayed on with her help. I am in her debt forever because of it, and I can’t wait to share this all with her when she has come through the darkness she is currently walking through.

So, below is the original post, as it came out of my head that day. In this particular case, I drew so much energy from the universe that I’m still on a little high from it now, two days later. And I’m still sending as much of that powerful force out in Mel’s direction as I can, to give her strength. And, whether she’s even conscious of it or not, I know she’s receiving it. Especially as I’m feeding her own energy back to her, this was all a great gift from her…

Not The Winter Blahs After All?

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my annual winter blahs, which usually occur around February and last well into March. Trying to figure out what triggers it, analyzing the moods and mindsets to hopefully get a better handle on the whole thing. Decide if it’s something I should be trying to put behind me, or if it’s a necessary part of emotional cycles that I should embrace and ride out.

Then I realized, what I’ve assumed were the annual blahs this year might not be that after all. Many of the usual “negative” emotions aren’t there this year, at least no more than they have in the months leading up to now. There has been no downswing really. I think it’s just a shift in my worldview to a simpler mindset.

I’ve become more interested in spending the night with a Kurt Vonnegut novel than in a noisy bar. I’d rather drink a hot cup of tea than a martini. I’d rather meditate than dance and cavort about. (Though dancing can be quite the meditative experience/process, but I’ll divert from that digression quickly now *wink*)

My mind is more at peace now, in more of a zen state. Where I used to be unfocused and withdrawn I’m now concentrated and open. I’m more in touch with who I am, and have found my spirit and my soul. That void that I used to fill with external stimulation is no longer as open. Call it enlightenment if you will…

…and I have some tears welling up in my eyes as I realize that I’ve just now “glimpsed the unicorn” that my friend Melissa referred to a few weeks back. Wow. I didn’t get it then, but I do now. Just now, right this moment. I can’t wait to share this with her.