My mood hasn't been so great lately, pretty damn depressed actually. Between job woes, out of control emotions, and a melange of other things that have beset me, I've been pretty down in the dumps lately. As a side-effect, however, I've been much more creative (musically) than I have in a long time. Before the depression set, it had been more than nine months since I'd completed any new songs. Now, in the last two or three weeks, I've completed four. And, I think they're four of the better songs I've ever written, at least for now. That could change over time, but I'm really digging them now.
This has gotten me pondering if it's a fair trade-off. Is the depression (the first time I've really been hit with some pretty heavy depression in years, pretty much since I stop taking meds for it) worth the hugely increased creative productivity? Does sadness make a worthwhile muse? The answer is pretty easy, really. No, it isn't. I'd much rather be happy and less creative, but at least it offers some silver lining to the bad feelings. Ups and downs are a natural part of life, and I can at least take some solace in knowing that I'll probably really start cranking out some tunes when I head into those inevitable downswings.