I’m not sure at what point it happened, but it happened at some point over the last month or two. Whatever muse I had is gone. It happens from time to time, but it’s all the more concerning this time due to the fact that I’ve been going through those moments of emotional confusion and turmoil lately, which usually triggers those periods of great prolificacy.
Right now, I just have no passion towards making music any more, other than occasional brief flashes of pseudo-inspiration. There are no ideas, no desire to even tinker or noodle about, no love left. I’m empty.
Part of it, I think, is that I’ve burned out on the step-sequenced, machine-precise, point-and-click method of making music. Time to break out of the box? Perhaps I just need to buy a small keyboard controller and start writing by actually playing something rather than clicking little boxes on a computer screen? Perhaps I need to finally get around to reworking all my gear at home so that I can incorporate live guitar finally, and noodle with that? Maybe even buy an inexpensive microphone so I can do some of that tribal/industrial banging on things I mentioned a few days ago?
Maybe I just need to step away for a while. Just stop making music at all for a while. Pick some arbitrary period of time… be that a month, a year, whatever… and swear off of making any music for that period of time. A hiatus, a temporary retirement if you will. Hope it at least gets the pilot light re-lit. Though… that feels like it might be a bit too much like quitting.
I wonder, though. Is the muse really gone, or just shifted to new areas? I’m writing a lot more than I used to, I’ve started drawing again, so maybe the muse is visiting me in new ways?
All things to think about, meditate on perhaps…