Last night I woke up several times throughout the night, and have been up much earlier than usual today. Thing is, it’s all been because of this strange, empty feeling I have. Like I’ve been completely drained of all my energy and lifeforce. Like somebody has stolen my soul, if you will. All that newfound depth and warmth I spoke of discovering just yesterday was all gone. It’s already slowly returning to me today, and I’ll certainly be spending some time on meditation and introspection this afternoon to help fill back up, so it seems it will work out okay. Still, it was a strange feeling. Helped me remember how empty I used to feel all the time, and really helps steel my resolve to not go back to being that person ever again.
I have my theories on where that energy went, but I’ll probably never be able to confirm it for sure. Which might be for the best, because if it did go where I think it went… that would be more than my scientist’s brain could reconcile and would probably challenge my worldview and belief structure a little more than I’m ready for just yet. Among other things…