I’ve been spending a lot of time on introspection lately. Looking at myself, who and what I am. How much do I stay true to myself, and how much do I let my self-view be colored by the vision others project onto me? What are my faults? What are my assets? Where do they overlap? What can I change, and what do I need to accept as a part of who I am?
I’ll probably be starting with a fault because, for me, it’s so much easier to identify what I don’t like about myself than what I do. It’s part of my self-critical nature, tied to a huge lack of positive self-image and self-esteem.
The real challenge will lie when I need to identify those positive traits. Considering how utterly thrashed by own self-worth is, this will be a huge uphill battle for me. At first I may need to lean on my friends a bit, to help me see the things I should be proud of. I’m horrible at identifying the good in me, but I can learn to do so over time.
Compounding that challenge will be maintaining a balance of humility. Pride can be far more dangerous that self-loathing, so I really want to hang onto the more humble aspects of myself. (This is also a major reason why I will focus on my faults at the same time, to keep myself grounded and try to bring/keep a symmetry to my self-view.)
Wow, another journey I’m so excited to be taking. I wonder where it will take me?