After sitting here typing out all those journal entries, I got to thinking a lot more about the weekend.
I'm really wishing I would have had a longer retreat, I think a few more days of that would have done me so much more good. It feels too much like I just got ramped up into it, and then it was over.
I'm also wishing I would have had more time to spend with Melissa. I'm fighting the urge to feel cheated by the whole experience. She'd had such an amazing weekend in Minnesota with her friends, that nothing I could have done would have lived up to that. It had to be a letdown for her. Plus, my weekend was so emotionally intense that I was in a real weird place and kept having to bite my tongue to keep from pouring my heart and soul out all over her. I could tell she just wasn't in that mushy kind of mood.
I'm still glad I had the time I did with her, it was so wonderful just to see her again that I wouldn't trade the little bit of time we had for anything in the world. Still, I'm missing her really badly right now, and really want to see her again.
But I'm happy with the whole experience. No regrets.
I am a complete dumb ass for forgetting to take a picture of her and I together while I was there, it would have been nice to have that little memento. Who knows how long before I get to see her again? Hell, I may never see her again. Who knows?